Having Standards in Today's Dating Scene
I want to take some time to address an issue that I have been exposed to more and more as of late. Since attending my new college as of this past August, I have been approached both directly and indirectly with comments about my appearance and or propositions for a relationship.
Some of these women are what some may call "hot" or "attractive." However, in every instance to date, I have polity declined their advances. When the topic of girls or relationships is brought up (which seems to be quite often) when I am with my friends they ask me if I am seeing anyone or if I have been on any dates recently. In most situations, I will just shrug off the question with the response that I am too busy with school to devote any time to the whole dating scene. However, some of my friends delve deeper into their line of questioning and continue to expand on their original question. When this occurs, I share with them the advances of various women.
In some cases, I will be with a friend and I will pass someone that made an advance on me and I will point this fact out to my friend. My friend usually turns to me and says something to the effect "Wow! Man, she is charming!" He may follow up with a question about why things didn't work out. My reply is that I have standards.
Outward appearances are only one facet of what comprises a woman. Don't get me wrong! I like the cute girls, and I know some of them are taking a jump of faith when approaching me. However, most of what I gather from their conversations is this sort of attitude. The attitude goes something like this "I'm hot/cute, and I've gotten whatever I've wanted in the past, and now I what you or something from you." Alright, so now there are like 50 of y'all writing in the comment section, "Oh no! You have it all wrong! Not all women are like that!" and to those people, I say this. No kidding? Really?! (That's sarcasm) One thing I should probably mention is that coupled with this sort of attitude is the lack of conversation skills.
Now back to my original point, standards. Woman... Listen... I think you're cute, but looks aren't everything. You need to be able to hold an intellectual conversation with me for anything to go any further than where things currently stand. Read a book. Watch the news. Know how things around you are changing and how that change affects you. Your looks can't have a conversation with me.
Is this whole idea of standards just me? Or are there others out there that share this idea?
Andrew
It's definitely not just you. I find myself attracted to men that are intelligent, analytical, reflective and have a good sense of humor. The more I like someone's personality the more physically attractive they become. Whereas I quickly loose interest in someone who might look good but doesn't make me want to talk to him.
ReplyDeleteI also want a man to be interested in my mind and what I've got to say more than in my looks.
Having guys come up to me and tell me I'm good looking is a real turn off for me.
I guess they expect me to be flattered or something but in my mind I'm usually like 'So? Who are you and what do you want from me?'.
To be honest I often feel like not a lot of guys my age are interested in girls like me or don't take the time to get to know me.
But then again, I'm not interested in most guys my age...
I don't think there's anything wrong with those standards (why would you want to be in a relationship you don't enjoy anyway?) but I've realized that finding someone you share that kind of connection with isn't easy you've got to be patient.
By the way, did you know a woman can be pretty and intelligent at the same time? ;)